For the Sake of our Children –

A still image from one of the PSAs. "You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent."

As an adopted child, I perhaps have extra insight into the importance of having a stable, loving family. Like every other kid in America, I grew up too often taking my parents for granted. But, in the back of my mind, there was always one lingering thought: my parents chose me. I could have grown up without them.

For so many, having a child biologically isn’t an option. Fortunately, adoption is a very real possibility. Of course, many parents looking to adopt want newborns – a blank slate to raise from birth as one’s own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this; I myself was adopted as an infant, and look how well I turned out! (no snickering, please.)

Unfortunately, there are many, many children who need permanent homes and are past the age of infancy. Thankfully, there is

You’ve no doubt seen their public service announcements, most recently ending with the tag line: You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent.

On its surface, is a photo listing website matching perspective adoptive parents with children in foster care who need permanent families.

I’ve read some criticism of such sites that liken them to shopping for furniture at Ikea. Confidentiality prevents me from giving particulars, but I can tell you I’ve had professional interaction with this group. They are a dedicated team of professionals whose interests are solely in helping foster kids find forever families. They are highly ethical, apolitical and truly have the best interests of children and parents at heart.

There is a misconception that foster kids either are somehow broken. Indeed, there are various reasons why children wind up in foster homes, and some have needs exceeding those of children who have grown up in a more stable home. However, they are, at heart, just like every other child: in need of love, guidance and support.

According to the site, AdopotUsKids is supported by various government agencies. Removing the human interest for a moment, this is a good use of tax dollars on a purely fiscal level. Foster homes also receive government assistance. By place children in permanent, loving homes, one not only provides them with a greater chance of being productive members of society, one removes the burden from the tax payer.

Over 14,000 children featured on AdoptUsKids have been placed with families who now love and support them, emotionally as well as financially. Think of all the taxpayer money this has saved!

Sometimes, I’m disheartened to learn how many people seek adopted children from overseas. I certainly don’t begrudge any child the chance at a happy, stable family life! But there are so many children right here in the United States who don’t have that. AdoptUsKids focuses on these children.

Finally, for those of you who may be shocked to find listings of underage children needing homes online, I can only tell you the listings are done with the highest attention paid to the privacy needs and the dignity of each child. I can’t tell you anything about the process. But, come on! You know me. If I thought there was anything fishy or unethical going on, you know I’d be talking about it.

There just isn’t a downside here. Adoption provides a real life alternative to those of us with pro-life beliefs. Providing permanent, stable and loving homes to children reinforces the strength of the American family and increases the likelihood of future success for these children. (I don’t mean to say that children who age out of the foster care system can’t be successful. I’m merely saying the more stability one has early on in life increases the chances for future happiness.) Removing children from government subsidized foster homes and placing them with financially stable families reduces the taxpayer burden. AdoptUsKids is absolutely made of “win.”

If you are a parent looking to increase the size of your family, or if you want to become a parent for the first time and are considering adoption, please take a look at

These are children who desperately want what we have always had: the chance to look at someone with love and admiration and say, “That’s my parent.”

5 Responses to “For the Sake of our Children –”
  1. kelliejane says:

    I can tell you about the process. Whether it’s here or from abroad, it’s INTENSE. Anybody w/ delusions that they are just merrily getting the child they picked off the site is, in my opinion, not ready to be a parent. They do in fact simulate the birthing process. There are contractions ;-)

    But I also don’t want people to be unaware of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Many foster kids have it, & I don’t blame them. Be prepapred to go through counseling w/ your child (& also resist stupid techniques that seem hinky to you; some RAD “therapists” are, I feel, abusive morons w/ degrees. No one need touch your child).

    If I want to have children I will have to adopt, & I look forward to it. :-)

  2. as an adoptive mom – this subject is close to my heart. We adopted two boys at birth. My neighbor has adopted 3 older kids as a foster mom. Her last adoption 2 years ago was a 13 year old boy. Sadly, the U.S. Foster Care system makes it SO HARD and is such a nightmare. For instance, his sister was adopted by another family. The other family ONLY wanted a girl. They would not take this boy, too. My neighbor would have taken BOTH and kept them together, but the system allowed the other family to adopt his sister. It was so wrong. The other issue I have is the fact that children get trapped in foster care for YEARS while the state keeps letting the birth parents have chance after chance. Meanwhile, these kids are growing up without stability in their lives. My neighbor had a foster baby for 8 months that kept bouncing back and forth between her and his druggie mother. The whole time I kept thinking that this child needed to be adopted before it was too late. He’s now 2 and back with his mother, who is completely unable to manage herself out of a paper bag. She still isn’t sure she wants him. How sad that when he’s finally broken by his circumstances and unmanageable, she will probably lose him permanently. I know lots of people that would have taken him as an infant, but in a few years, far fewer will take that chance. I always say that if everyone who wanted to have a child had to go through what adoptive parents do, the world would be a better place. Our lives were turned upside down and we had to prove we were ready financially and emotionally to be parents.

    Bless anyone who will adopt foster kids. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it and there’s a special place in heaven for them.

  3. Donna says:

    Yes, you area correct. You were chosen and I am very glad you were..
    Love from your proud Mom

  4. DCG says:

    RedMom and Donna – thank you for being such caring people to bring adopted children into your lives…it is a true blessing for all!

  5. Carrie says:

    I’m have two grown sons I gave birth to, a 5 year old daughter we adopted from China and a 2 year old foster daughter. We hope our foster daughter becomes our forever daughter by Christmas, but the Judge has set the adoption date for no later than January 6th so it won’t be long. Parenting is tough work and I dare to say the uncertainty of adoption is much more difficult than pregnancy. But the joy and blessings are bountiful and so outweigh the trials, frustrations, and delays.

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