Red Eye: Paladino NOT Pal O’ Dorothy

NY Gubernatorial Candidate Carl Paladino / Pic: Hannonjd Director of New Media, Paladino For The People

First off, the title for this post was directly stolen from TV’s Andy Levy, who used it at the beginning of the most recent episode of “Red Eye.” It was too good not to use.

Second, and most important, could people please stop talking about teh geyhs? If you believe some conservative estimates, between 1-3% of the population identifies as gay. This makes me think conservatives go to the Village and count only men in pink – excuse me: salmon – colored shirts and women in combat boots. But even the most avid gay advocate assumes 10% of the population is gay. In fact, if you ever see the phrase “1 in 10,” anywhere, it’s a secret gay code phrase. Kind of like how alcoholics often identify themselves by saying they are “friends of Bill W.”

The point is, according to my highly scientific observations and resulting calculations, there were 1,235,984,874,985 separate stories about gay people this past week alone.

I can’t cover them all!

Here’s the deal:

Carl Paladino, a conservative candidate running for Governor of New York, made some controversial statements about homosexuality over the weekend while addressing a group of conservative Jews.

OK. Not the best choice of words, and it’s been all over the news. Today, at the NYC Columbus Day Parade, Paladino refused to recant, insisted he harbored no ill will towards gay people, stated he hired gay staff people (including his nephew) and said gays should be granted all rights, save marriage. He went on to say his views were consistent with those of the Catholic Church.

But it’s too late. Paladino, who has had a string of controversies, is losing the race. Badly. And even popular conservatives (such as former mayor Rudy Giuliani) are distancing themselves from Paladino’s “anti-gay” tirade.

“Red Eye” guest, Nick Gillespie, had the following to say

He’s a triple threat. He’s half-Italian, heterosexual and born in New York. He makes me ashamed I’m half-Italian, I’m heterosexual and I’m born in New York.

The basic opinion seemed to me to be of the opinion that Paladino is kind of a nutjob. The mainstream media is, of course, rushing to connect him to the Tea Party. And to point out that his child born out of wedlock to an extramarital partner means he has nothing to say about morality.

Greg Gutfeld made a statement in Paladino’s defense

…anyone who has been to a gay parade knows he’s right about that.

TV’s Andy Levy echoed the sentiment during his Halftime Report, wondering if people would have the same reaction to Paladino’s comments about gay pride parades if they were discussing scantily clad straight people.

As a gay person (I know, I know, and I’m sorry I keep bringing it up), I have to say I totally agree. I don’t mind men in Speedos sipping margaritas and dancing to disco music atop heavily tinseled floats. After all, men wear Speedos at the beach and there are plenty of children there. But I really don’t want to explain to my hypothetical children why those two, overly muscular men are playing leap frog.

If that weren’t enough, I have two words for you: assless chaps.

The last Pride I attended, a bald man in the back of a Volkswagen sucked on his index finger, then blew me a very suggestive kiss. I was totally skeeved!

And, if you’re still in doubt: Google Folsom Street Fair, but be sure you don’t do it at work, unless you have your browser set to block images. Images which, in all likelihood, you really do not want to see.

Here’s the problem: it’s not that people like Paladino want gay people to go away. It’s that, often times, “accepting” gay people means accepting behavior you wouldn’t tolerate in straight people, as Levy indicated.

Any parade where women wore bikinis and were dry humped by muscle men or faux cops would be deemed highly inappropriate, and probably boycotted by NOW. Gloria Allred would have to defend each and every bosom vixen from the evil patriarchy. But they would have a point!

If gay people, gay men in particular, want to be taken seriously as builders of families and morally righteous, they need to stop grinding their jockstraps into the faces of the gathered masses. In private, they can do whatever they want. But people bring their kids to gay pride events, because somehow two men or two women sexually exploiting each other at noon on a Sunday all the way through downtown is “high camp.”

No. It’s inappropriate. In public.

Similarly, Paladino has a point about teaching homosexuality in schools. I don’t think children need to learn about Kenny’s two dads unless they have a classmate named Kenny who does, in fact, have two dads.

It’s not that I feel we gays should jump back into the closet. It’s just that I don’t think we need to be so brazenly sexual out in the open. Nor do I feel we need to draw children into a political action committee.

Sure, Paladino’s comments went too far. Sure, they were made in a very blunt, politically incorrect manner. But, as first time “Red Eye” guest, Mike Riggs, pointed out

The fact that there are all these really conservative Jews in Brooklyn makes me think NYC is more complex than we think.

And also

He’s actually like a lot of people. And not just old people.

Paladino is something of a crack pot. But let’s not forget he may have some valid points. Even a broken watch is right twice a day. Though his comments may not have played well to New York City, I bet they went over like gangbusters in the rest of New York State, which is heavily Catholic.

I lived in upstate NY. They don’t hate gay people. But they’re not thrilled about the gay agenda or gay marriage either. There’s nothing wrong with having a socially conservative point of view, or with expressing it.

On the other hand, aside from the impolitic manner in which he framed his remarks, they were extremely untimely as Monday was National Coming Out Day. Oops.

There are lots of people who agree with Paladino’s statements, though perhaps not in the way they were expressed. I firmly believe I could introduce myself to Carl Paladino as a gay man, and he would shake my hand. It remains to be seen whether he’d feel the need to use hand sanitizer directly afterward.

Red Eye” air date – October 12, 2010. Guests: Carrie Keagan, Nick Gillespie, Rob Zombie and first timer Mike Riggs. Cast: Host – Greg Gutfeld, Sequential Hermaphroditic Sidekick – Bill Schulz and Ombudsman – TV’s Andy Levy

The views in this post are entirely my own (except where I’m quoting.) Neither “Red Eye” nor Fox News endorse or support my “Red Eye” posts. I am not affiliated with the show in any way, other than being an avid fan.

Help a hard working “Red Eye” fan. Support the campaign to get my posts mentioned on the show (just once!) Write to “Red Eye” and mention this blog.


2 Responses to “Red Eye: Paladino NOT Pal O’ Dorothy”
  1. Kla B says:

    LOL funny and thanks for stating the obvious, inapproriate display fo affection in public is just that… inappropriate!

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