Red Eye: Jimmy Carter – The Best Ex-President Ever

"I had mad skillz, yo! Goober luv!!!!"

The most recent episode of “Red Eye” rocked, as do they all. Among the stories discussed were a Fox News poll stating 80% of Americans feel the US is viewed by the world as weaker now than several years ago, Iranian “president” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s speech to the UN (he’s totally not a tyrant), and coverage of Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity.”

By far, my favorite segment of the night was of Jimmy Carter’s recent interview with NBC, where he stated

I feel my role as a former president is probably superior to other presidents.

Yeah. You heard me right. Carter rulez, others drool.

Carter was said to have correct his statement. (Did he preface his clarification with “let me be clear?”) What he meant was that the Carter Center, under his leadership, was a super neat global powerhouse that accomplished lots of really good stuff.

Former UN Ambassador John Bolton disagreed

[Carter] attacked Israel and supported Palestine. Is partly responsible for North Korea’s nuclear missile program. Everything he touched turned to dross. Much like his presidency.

Let me interpret that comment for the apolitical.

Hey, Carter! Just because your initials are JC doesn’t make you the second coming. You sucked rocks!

Indeed, Carter’s presidency was riddled with incompetency and general boob-ism. From his admission he had committed lust “in his heart,” to brother Billy’s legendary beer, Carter was something of a joke.

Still, it must be said the Carter Center has had some positive accomplishments. Helping head off a US lead invasion of Haiti, assisting farmers in Africa, reducing disease. Sadly, there is also constant lambasting of Israel, unflagging support of the UAE and Palestine. Not to mention Carter’s overly friendly behavior with people most of us would consider on par with, say, Joseph Mengele.

And, as Bolton mentioned, the Carter Center played a role in peace talks with North Korea. Whew! Thank God Carter was there, because otherwise, North Korea might have turned into a terrorist nation lead by a madman attempting to hold the world hostage with constant threats of nuclear war.

Damn!

The Carter Center has received funds from Saudi Arabia and the many brothers of Osama bin Laden. It maintains that all donations are fully transparent, which makes taking money from known terrorists totally OK.

As long as we know we’re getting money from terrorists, it’s all good. There was a similar philosophy in software development: if we know there’s a problem when we release the software, then it isn’t a bug. Of course, if you are a purchaser of said software, it still doesn’t work. But someone knows.

See how that works?

Some of Carter’s accomplishments as President? He established the Department of Energy and the Department of Education. We all know how well those turned out.

Additionally, Carter’s presidency was marred by: an energy crisis, a fuel shortage, the boycott of the 1980 Summer Olympics, inflation and a recession. And there was that ugly Iranian hostage scandal and failed rescue attempt.

So, yeah. Best. Former. President. EVER!!! Suckas.

The historical record is mixed as to Carter’s success as an ex-president. He has been ranked as high as 19 and as low as 34 in the list of American presidents. And, if his Wikipedia page is to believed, he really is one of the most successful former presidents in history. No doubt, Carter agrees with this sentiment.

Perhaps, as TV’s Andy Levy suggests

I think he’s right in the sense that people are happier he’s an ex-president than any other president.

Oh, well. So, not so much with the great president then. At least his ego is intact, if not his memory.

Red Eye” air date – September 22, 2010. Guests: Anna Gilligan, first time guest Rob Long and Ambassador John Bolton. Cast: Host – Greg Gutfeld, Sequential Hermaphroditic Sidekick – Bill Schulz and Ombudsman – TV’s Andy Levy

The views in this post are entirely my own (except where I’m quoting.) Neither “Red Eye” nor Fox News endorse or support my “Red Eye” posts. I am not affiliated with the show in any way, other than being an avid fan.

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Comments
4 Responses to “Red Eye: Jimmy Carter – The Best Ex-President Ever”
  1. kelliejane says:

    Teh lame! My mum STILL loves him.

    • ChrisIsRIGHT says:

      It’s funny. Growing up, I thought he was the coolest thing ever. I was too young to worry about a recession; my parents kept us out of financial troubles.I remember long lines at the gas station, but that’s about it as far as problems go.

      Looking back, I think I associated him with everything good about America. We’d just celebrated the bicentennial, and pro America sentiment was running high. But really, everything good I experienced about those times was due to my parents, who were conservatives.

      • DCG says:

        Same here Chris…gas lines is what I remember. But my dad also spoke of the Iran hostage situation which he knew Carter couldn’t end cuz he didn’t have “the guts” to end it properly. I believe now that Obama will beat Carter, in my lifetime, as worst prez evah…

  2. Joseph Veca says:

    What I found funny about the more recent Carter interview is he thinks he was successful because he got so much legislation passed.

    Personally I think a lot of his bitterness, especially towards the American people come from the fact that when he lost to Regan in every state except for D.C., Georgia, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Rhode Island, and West Virginia and only garnered 41.01% of the popular vote. Regan only garnered 50.75% of the popular vote, but as with all general elections it is the Electoral college vote that matters.

    It should also be noted that Jimmy Carter is also responsible for the mess the United State Postal Service is in. Before Carter, it was the United States Post Office, and the Post Master General was a Cabinet level position and the Post Office wasn’t subject to the whims of Congress and didn’t need funds from the general fund because it was actually running in the black and had a surplus of cash, and it only cost a dime to send a letter, the price went up after Congress went Gordon Gekko on Post Office funds and the prices have been rising ever since.

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