Obama to FINALLY Get a Break
God love him, Barack Obama, the hardest working president in American history since January 2009, is finally getting away from the never-ending drear of his hectic schedule. In the past month alone, he has vacationed in The Gulf, spent his birthday in Chicago (while lovely wife Michele crusaded hard against Spanish fatties) and partied with Muslim dignitaries.
Yesterday, Barry and family got away from it all at last and landed in Martha’s Vineyard, a barely noteworthy little island off the coast of Massachusetts. The estimated cost of this vacation is $50,000 a day. The Obamas are staying for 10 days. So, doing the math, it appears the President’s summer retreat will cost roughly five human souls and the American taxpayer’s last vestiges of dignity.
Hard hitting journalistic powerhouse, The Martha’s Vineyard Times, will be giving a blow-by-blow of Obama’s busy schedule.
…whether you’re dining with the leader of the free world, swimming or golfing with him, playing a game of Horse, or just offering advice. Post your photos or videos in real time, and see the images others post. We’re aiming for a Vineyard scrapbook of the president’s 2010 visit.
Thank God! I was desperately afraid I might not otherwise know about O’s latest golf score.
I have some suggested activities for the POTUS while he is there. You know, to best make use of his time.
1) Visit Dike’s Bridge on attached Chappaquiddick Island to lay a wreath where Mary Jo Kopechne had the bad taste to die … slowly. It’s time Ted Kennedy be properly memorialized. Perhaps, since Kopechne probably survived underwater up to two hours after Kennedy’s car went off the bridge, Ted can posthumously be awarded the medal for “courageous restraint” for not calling the police.
2) While there, maybe Obama can declare Martha’s Vineyard the 58th state.
3) Perhaps Barry will find some alone time, where he can walk to the shore and gaze at his own noble visage in the glassy waters. There’s nothing like spending some time with the one you love the most.
4) Since the economy doesn’t seem to be doing what he claims it is, Obama can spend some time writing the mother of all clarifications.
5) I suggest Michelle accomplish something with her time, too. Perhaps she can round up all the fatties. I doubt there are any children whose parents collect food stamps on The Vineyard, given the annual income is 60% higher than the national average. But, if there are, perhaps Michelle can swing by their houses and pick up their EBT cards, saving the taxpayers tens of dollars.
6) After the controversy of Obama’s Ground Zero Mosque endorsement clarification, and the comparisons between Marie Antoinette and Michelle Obama (which are totally unfair. Antoinette allowed children to eat cake), the entire family could use some time away from the spotlight and additional public scrutiny. Aside from, you know, yet another very expensive and exclusive vacation mere days after their last. Well, damn. Scratch this one.
7) Barry can help his sagging poll numbers by mingling with the average voter, like Ted Danson, Diane Sawyer or Alan Dershowitz.
8) The literary and loquacious president can start a new book! I suggest the working title: Failure is Not an Option. It is Now Mandated by Law.
9) Visit Gay Head Cliffs, just for the name. Of course, if he does, I won’t ask and he won’t tell.
10) Finally, what presidential retreat would be complete without a quiet takeover of the tourism industry.
I hope you have a great time, Mr. “I won’t rest until every American has a job” President. Meanwhile, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. Looking for work.