Welcome to Seattle! Want a Crack Pipe?
When I logged on to Twitter today, several friends sent me messages asking if I’d gotten my free crack pipe yet. I thought to myself, well maybe you don’t like my Libertarian-leaning stance on gay marriage, but that’s no reason to get nasty!
Of course, they weren’t referencing my stance on any issue, but rather my geographical location: Seattle.
For twenty years now, Seattle has been home to a controversial needle exchange program, where intravenous drug users can get clean needles for free. This program is ostensibly designed to cut down on the spread of AIDS among junkies.
Know what else cuts down on the spread of AIDS via shooting junk? Not shooting junk! A radical (and probably somehow racist) notion, I know.
The needle exchange has branched out. Now, thanks to a vote by “The Legislature” (which one wasn’t specified), the needle exchange can hand out a drug that counters the effect of a heroin overdose, says the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in an article posted Friday.
“Our program is primarily an HIV prevention program,” said Michael Hanrahan, manager of education and prevention services of the HIV/STD program with Public Health — Seattle & King County. The agency, which runs four exchange programs, has watched the demand for clean needles surge from 1.8 million in 2006 to nearly 3.4 million last year.
Clearly, the exchange is working! Intravenous drug use is up almost 100% and that’s GR…oh, wait. That sucks, actually.
Now, this wonderful program is going to hand out crack pipes and kits, to help prevent the spread of hepatitis, etc.
It’s so nice Seattle provides a safe place for junkies to … coagulate. Not only are we a Shelter City for illegal immigrants, we’re junkie friendly! Yay, Seattle!
Perhaps the exchange will branch out further and start providing sex offenders with free condoms to help thwart pesky rape investigations.
We believe all drug users should have the right to not get diseases and have the ability to prevent diseases.
Nifty. And I believe I should have the right to photograph everyone getting free “kits” and Naloxone from the needle exchange and turn them into the police. Because you know what right I have? The right to not be accosted by diseased drug users.
The needle exchanges in Seattle are largely funded by donations, which is good. But once an addict decides to clean up, he or she will transfer to the state’s methadone treatment centers, which are probably taxpayer funded. And then the poor, hapless junkie will go on public assistance.
Gee, and people involved in drug deals are often prone to being victims of violent crime. I wonder when the needle exchange will think of that, and finally start handing out narcotics.
Here’s a tip on how to avoid 100% of drug related diseases. DON’T DO DRUGS!
That’s free advice, folks. Though, maybe I should start a government sponsored clinic and start charging Medicare for giving it out.